Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Day 4 Food Diary and Update

Ok, so I haven't logged my last two days of food. I intended to do two days back yesterday morning but never got around to it. I planned on doing yesterdays last night and same story. *Sigh*. Oh well. New day, new start.

Its 5:44, so don't be concerned by my lack of food. I'll update again later.

1/2 can baked beans, 1/2 can tinned tomatoes (set aside the other halves for tomorrow)
3 mandarins

Interesting fact- I didn't eat my first orange until I was 17! Crazy. I did try mandarins and nectarines before that, but I hated the texture and the white crusty bits between the mandarin and the peel. I still spend a long time getting rid of all of it before I stick it in my mouth. I've also had a lifelong hatred of orange juice, but I don't mind juices that are made in my jucier. Delicious when combined with apples! Can't wait to use it again :) Still, its better to use the whole fruit than just the filling, because just having the juice is bad for your teeth, and having the other bits is more nutritional and filling.

I tracked my food for a few months on sparkpeople last year, when I was doing a lot of walking and I lost about 10 kilos. It was really helpful. I never do anything in halves. Either I'm under eating or overeating, its not very often that I eat the right amount of food. I like because they let you know where you need to catch up on your nutritional needs (too low on carbs, or fats or protein etc) or when you haven't eaten enough. You also get a quick idea of when you are overeating and malnourished. If you eat healthy, you can eat a lot more food for less calories. Its a sweet deal.

I haven't had any comments on this blog yet, but someone did read my blog and suggest that I track what I usually eat for two weeks than make changes. I just don't think I should keep putting my diet/lifestyle change off. I haven't made any process or stuck to good eating at all, so maybe I should follow their suggestion. I have been doing some work in the garden though. I had the brilliant idea to clear some of the leaves on the side of the house, and there was this ugly tree growing sideways with nothing off it but ugly branches, so I convinced my sister to help pull it out, and then upset the parents when they told us it was a grape vine! Opps! I think my gardening days are over. I'll just stick to picking up leaves and assisting mum from now on.

Another issue thats been going on is that I haven't been taking my pills for the last week or so. I don't know what it is. Laziness? Forgetfulness? ''Oh, I didn't take my pill this morning, so I'm not going to bother taking it tonight?''.
I told my mum this morning so she can keep an eye on me. She doesn't tend to keep me accountable for things unless its important to her, like getting the dishes done. I might ask my sister to remind me, but I don't know if she'll remember. She spends the most time with me, so thats probably my best bet. Having alarms on my phone hasn't helped much because I don't usually have it with me, or I don't want to get up at 7 o'clock in the morning everyday to take a pill than crawl back into bed. My laziness is probably the reason I get sick. Most complaints about people with Bipolar are about those who have been off their meds, so I should probably be careful about that. I have a pill infront of me now, and I'm about to take it.

I haven't actually joined the gym yet. Its like, ''why bother?''- my eating habits still suck!

Grr. I suck at this!


  1. Keep up the posting! I am reading. Doing great, very proud! Physical activity does matter despite not being on your game with eating. First and foremost it makes you feel better. If you feel better you are less likely to feel bad and emotionally eat. Just don't justify poor eating with activity. That will not get you to your goal. Keep the dream alive! Stephanie..I detect a great deal of negativity in this post. You have to talk as if you believe you can do this or the forgetfulness, laziness, cynicism will derail everything you plan out. Stay focused, do you want this or not???

    1. Wow, you caught me. To be honest, losing weight seems about as realistic as making a trip into space. I had some success a long time ago (got half way to my goal weight) but since I got diagnosed with Bipolar II and gone on birth control it has gotten a lot harder. My weight doesn't seem to go below 100 kilos and it really frustrates me because that was my old high weigh, and at that size I'm still considered obese. I would be happy if I settled around 80 kilos (I looked pretty good at 85) but my goal weight is somewhere between 63-70 kilos.

      I guess I need to stop putting so much value in what the scales say, and start making measurements with the tape measure- even when my weight doesn't shift, I start looking really healthy (my skin actually glows!), my clothes fit a bit better and my double chin disappears. I also start to have more energy and exercise becomes easier. Somehow this isn't enough to motivate me though. Everyday is such a struggle.

      I don't know what to do. Weight Watchers worked for me the first time around, but I don't like the idea of buying into a program... maybe I should just do it until I get to my goal weight, then switch to counting calories and being more dependant on myself. I remember things being ''easy'' when I was on Weight Watchers, I could eat what I wanted, as long as I kept the portions small and switched to a healthier recipe. Why am I not doing that now? Doubt? Laziness?

      Things I used to do don't seem to work now. Like when I do 10,000 steps a day for a few weeks. Used to do wonders for me. I lost a whole lot of weight doing that when I was younger, but now I realise that most of it was over a hilly area, where I live now is flat.

      I got this post in my google reader yesterday and I am going to have a good read. Maybe it will have the answer to my problem? I do run at any sign of a problem.

      Thank you for commenting. I will always remember you as the first person to reply to one of my blogs on here as there haven't been any others so far. I know there are a few other readers because I've gotten private messages on personal accounts/forums- that's always nice.

      Its weird, I love writing about weightloss but not actually putting anything into practice. I bet I would be a great mentor to someone someday if I actually did something with all this information.

    2. Wow, sorry about that, didn't realise I had left such a long comment!